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10 ways to go bankrupt

10 Ways to Go Bankrupt

by Roman on October 8, 2009

1. Take Out as Much Loans as You Can

Never lose an opportunity to borrow money. If a relative just got a hefty inheritance – be sure to borrow some money! If the bank is having a special deal with interests next to nothing – borrow some money! You will never know when you’ll need more money. Borrow as much as possible – that way you will always have it when you need it!
Better safe than sorry!

2. Buy Your Kids Everything They Want

The neighbor’s 5-year old kid Johnny just got a new Iphone with a 2 year contract so that he could better keep in touch with his family! Your son Michael is already 6 and wants to change his Iphone 3G for the newest 3GS.
Of course it will cost $2000 to end the old contract prematurely but anything to make the kids happy, right?
Children are the future!

3. Lend Your Friends Some money

Your friend Frank just came to talk to you with another great business idea? Super! Loan him all the money you can! You don’t want to miss the opportunity of lifetime, do you?
In fact – Frank seems like such a great bloke – why not borrow some money from your parents to help him get started? You can always pay them back next year! Oh boy, oh boy – just imagine how happy they will be when they find out that you got 10 times more back than you invested!
Your wife says that you are a “down on your feet kind of guy”, so you also consider what the worst that can happen is.
Well, when things don’t play out as planned Frank will just give you your money back! At least the two of you will be better friends than ever, right?

4. Get as Many Credit Cards as You Can

Remember your friend Cindy? She has 13 different credit cards and all your girlfriends just adore her! She used to be a nobody but after getting as many credit cards as possible she is able to buy anything!
Neither she, nor her husband has a job but Cindy has a different Gucci bag every week – surely she must know what she is doing!

5. Go to a Casino

Casino is the best place to quickly make more money. Enter with 1000 dollars and leave an hour later with $5000. You are not stupid, so you know that there are some dangers associated with casinos – it is best to consult your horoscope or a fortune teller before visiting!

6. Borrow Money To Buy Stocks

Did you hear about this new company and their product MakeMoneyFast2000? This is going to be a clear winner! There is no way it will flop like their previous product UltraMoneyMaker1000 did!
Just take all your retirement money and invest it into their stock. This will be the best decision you have ever made! Time to start planning for retirement!

7. Buy A New Car

Noticed the Mercedes-Benz your neighbor John bought last week? What a beauty!
In a few months time your BMW X5 will already be 2 years old! This means you should better start shopping for a new car! Always remember what your wife told you – when your car is older than a few years your friends will stop liking you and tell bad things about you behind your back!
Don’t want that to happen, do you?

8. Never Skip a Sale

Wow, this lawn mower is 50% off! We’d better get it since it is just too good to be true!
What about the 2 lawn mowers you already have? Don’t worry! Just sell them on eBay! They were too expensive anyway…

9. Never Save Any Money

You have a job, right? And you get your pay check every week, right?
Then what’s the point of saving money? However much you will spend you will get more money next week, so there really is no point of saving! You will have more money whether you save or not!
Live life to the fullest!

10. Pay Your Debt with New Debt

Having too much debt to deal with? No problem! Just take out a new loan to pay for your old ones.
This is a fool proof system – since you will always get a new and a better loan you will be able to pay back your previous loans.
Teach your friends how to do this as well! After all – this is how millionaires get to be billionaires.

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peter July 19, 2011 at 5:43 am

that ‘s funny most people are guilty of one or two of the above

peter July 19, 2011 at 5:48 am

I think spending money you don’t have is a major sin . Everyone is trying to beat their neighbour by having the lastest this or the latest that. e.g. smart phones, i-pad,wii ,BMW, Ferrari etc etc it is a disposable society which includes relationships and young children are casualties And people coming to England and getting all the freebies e.g. national health service, benefits all luck to them I hope this government cuts their benefits before British people’s benefits it is a joke.

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