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5 Smart Lessons in Business Management

5 Smart Lessons in Business Management

by Roman on April 16, 2009

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A priest and nun kissing

A priest offered a nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak”.
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3

A rabbit sitting under a tree

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 4

A cow taking a dump

A little bird was flying south for the winter.

It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and crapped on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually unfreezing him! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing from joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

  1. Not everyone who’s on you is your enemy.
  2. Not everyone who gets you out of a shitty situation is your friend.
  3. When you’re in it deep, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Lesson 5

A very wise man

A young man wanted to know how to be successful.

He was sent to a wiseman who made him promise to follow his instructions very carefully.

He agreed and the wiseman took him to a river.

The wiseman asked him to kneel down in the water and submerge his head.

Once under the water, the wiseman grabbed his head so he couldn’t come up for a breath. After the young man failed and fought for a minute, the wiseman released him, threw him up on the bank, and started walking away.

“You crazy old man!! How did THAT teach me how to be successful?!”

The wiseman turned and said:

“You will be successful if you want something as bad as you wanted that breath of air”

Moral of the story:

If don’t get what you want – you don’t want it bad enough!

The first 4 stories are from here.

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Boris Said April 18, 2009 at 9:33 pm

Those were some great lessons for sure!

Lesson 1: Very funny!
Lesson 2: If she wanted some, she should have said it in simpler terms, hehe. 😉
Lesson 3: Not sure if I got that lesson.
Lesson 4: Great lessons there, although a bit strange with the poo 😉
Lesson 5: Very good point

Sierra May 21, 2009 at 5:52 am

This is very amazing! Very funny yet they share amazing lessons as well. Looking forward to more posts like this.

saucedo May 21, 2009 at 8:28 pm

I don’t get the first which I think is the most important. ?

Car Insurance Phi May 28, 2009 at 5:14 pm

This is the best post I’ve ever read on any finance website. Very very clever! I love the first one.

QUESTRADE COUPONS - All Coupons, discounts, promo codes, offers, and reviews May 30, 2009 at 4:37 am

Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for this

Savings Account Rates Eve August 4, 2009 at 7:47 pm

I especially like the nun and the priest 🙂

good laughs – thanks!

David Domincki June 5, 2012 at 7:34 pm

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